I want to be famous, so that’s why I don’t want to be famous

It used to be that there were celebrities – the rich and famous – who flaunted their wealth as you watched them from your TV with star-struck eyes.  The Brad Pitts, the Johnny Depps, the Jennifer Lopezes, ect.  They still exist of course, but nowadays the notion of fame has shifted exponentially.  Take this scruffy looking fellow:

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If you don’t recognize him, this is Felix aka PewDiePie.  He is one of the most popular users on Youtube, currently boasting 54,666,213 subscirbers and racking up so far a whopping 15,043,846,112 views to his content.  Most likely in the time it takes to make this article, his ratings will have gone up.

 What do views and subs matter?

For every person who subscribes to his content, or simply clicks to view one of his videos, he receives a certain percentage from ad revenue.  How much, do you ask?  According to COED.com, he has made an estimated $124 million since his channel’s advent in 2010.

He is 26.  I am 26.  I could have made $124 million dollars by now.

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And this – this is the thinking that I fear and hate.  This is the thought process that can be toxic, and easily creep in.  The thought that, (And this is no reflection on Pewd’s content, I don’t watch his channel though I have seen a few of his videos.)  if I just worked harder, if I just had the “right image,” if I just was friends with and/or collaborated with other popular and famous content creators, if I just pandered the content that people want whether my values agreed with it or not, I could be that.  I could have enough money to help my parents, or to be on my own!  There are so many reasons to want to be famous.  And that is why I don’t want to be famous, because my flesh does.

And that doesn’t mean that, even if I was a Christian content creator as now, that I wouldn’t face the same temptations.  I’ve heard thousands of stories where a spirit filled, God fearing person let the world get to them and the enemy put them in a headlock.  Fame, fortune, pride…all those things can swallow you up before one even thinks about it.  And of course as humans, we justify it.  “I may be getting a little ahead of myself, but I’m doing what God wants me to, right?  I’m making ________ for Him, right?  The more known I get, the more it shows God’s glory through what He has given me!”  And so on.

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(If you don’t know, this picture is a reference to the Once ler from the Lorax, basically a guy who talked himself into killing an entire for to amass huge wealth.  But he did so down a gradual slippery slope.  Dr. Seuss.)

As you can see, I don’t precisely know what God wants me to do.  But I do know, that if I get a job, it needs to be something where He is showcased and not myself.  Honestly I was afraid to even start this blog because of the possibility of it being me that makes it noteworthy.  It may be my opinions, but I don’t want it to be my “image.”  Images are just that: a representation of a person.  And I don’t want people to be a fan of the image of me.

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That’s another reason why I don’t want to be famous.  Have you seen some of the fans of famous people?  They’re terrifying.  Take another Youtuber: Mark Fischback, aka Markiplier.

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Much like Pewdiepie, his fan base reaches the level of stalkers. Multiple videos have been made by creators basically telling their fans to not make any kind of threats, including that of death, towards critics of their content.  Mark has for a long while made his relationship status specifically vague, seemingly of worry that his partner would receive the same threats.

I know for a fact  that I. Do. Not. Want. That. At. All.

All I want is to be able to support myself, have enough to eat, marry my boyfriend of 2 years and share a place together.  And of course, above all, to make the Lord famous first before me.

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